


now i'm lace-like for the rain to come through

by thispapermoon



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Hecate visits Pentangle's, Hicsqueak, Jesus these Two Silly Witches, Lots about Hecate's past, Mistaking wanting to bone for competitiveness, Modern Magic, Pedagogy, Pippa Pentangle is a pent-angel, Post-New Dawn, Romance, Smut, They're back in a bathtub, bed sharing, slight mention of abuse, so so so much ust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:03:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thispapermoon/pseuds/thispapermoon
Summary: Water sloshes down into puddles on the stone beneath their feet and they stand together, soaked and breathless, Hecate staring at her in a way that makes Pippa itch with satisfaction. As if she’s finallyseeing her.“Have you,” Hecate begins, voice pitched low, “lost your modernmind.”Pippa closes the distance between them until they’re toe to toe. “Haveyouforgotten that there’s more to The Craft than a dusty old book of rules?”****Hecate learns modern magic. Pippa learns why Hecate is so loyal to Cackle's. Together they learn how much better life can be if they only just work as a team.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dear everyone who has commented such lovely things on my fics so far, I ADORE you. I also adore you tenfold because rn I am waiting for Life News and refreshing my email like crazy. Getting alerts for your comments has made the past few weeks so much better and brought a smile to my face during an anxious time. So thank you for being so amazing. 
> 
> I've been planning this fic for a long time and by the time I went to write it, I realized there was no way it was gonna fit in one chapter. So, here are all five in one go! I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Title is from 'Night 52' by Christine and the Queens.

She’s not entirely sure what she had expected to find today at Cackle’s, but whatever it was, the day had certainly gone bristles over broomstick in the opposite direction.

Perhaps she’d been foolish to imagine that she’d be met with open arms or, at the very least, one of Hecate’s small, private smiles. Or, perhaps, her fantasies of working with Hecate, working _closely_ with Hecate - fantasies of seeing her every day - had blinded her to reality.

Surely, that’s where she’d gone wrong.

Rising into the sky, Cackle’s growing smaller and smaller beneath her, the bright smile drops from her face and she winces, mentally reviewing the events of the day.

It’s clear now that Hecate had not been particularly pleased to see her - that she’s emphatically not interested in working together with her - and, above all, that Hecate would more than likely be happiest if Pippa could only learn to keep her distance.

She reorients her trajectory a little more northwest towards Pentangle’s, towards home, and sighs at the most hard to face realization of all: Hecate still thinks her silly and frivolous.

And, apparently, a threat in a way Pippa hadn’t even considered that she could be.

Her hands clench around the broom handle and her shoulders slump. She understands, really she does. Hecate has made a home for herself. Has chosen this life without Pippa. _And perhaps that’s the problem_ , she sighs, shoulders drooping a little more at the thought.

Hecate long ago made herself clear. And still she has refused to hear it, still clings to the memories of a childhood spent side-by-side, of sharing books, and sharing brushes, of sharing secrets. Memories of sitting closer than necessary, of creeping into each others rooms in the dead of night to whisper and giggle, huddled beneath the blankets of the bed for warmth.

She can still feel the way Hecate’s head had felt against her chest as they’d slept, curled together in the single school bed. Remembers how many nights she’d lain awake just so she could memorize each moment, store it forever in her heart. She hadn’t known then how often she would need to call it into memory in the years after to remind herself that, yes, at some point in her life, Hecate Hardbroom had cared about her.

She loses herself for a moment in the memory of feeling of Hecate’s arms around her last spring after the Spelling Bee. How for the space of a few heartbeats Hecate had rested her head on her shoulder and how she could feel each precious breath beneath her hands. How Hecate had whispered _Pipsqueak_ , had bushed long fingers across her back and held her close.

And Pippa had thought, _at last._

She had foolishly expected it would be a new beginning for them. That finally, _finally_  the life she’d stayed up late into the night dreaming about, Hecate warm against her, during those final years at school would become real at last. A life where Hecate would sleep by her side every night. Would be in her bed, and in her heart, for all their days to come.

Instead there had six months of unanswered mirror calls and unreturned maglet notes and terse conversations when Pippa had come to Cackle’s to visit her.

But it hadn’t been all bad. They’d played chess and she’d sometimes catch Hecate watching her. Would look up to see her eyes skitter away, but not before Pippa could catch a glimmer Hecate’s eyes, the shadow of an expression she once saw everyday of her life but had never learned how to interpret. Now so much of Hecate is hidden away behind the mask of a grown woman she hardly knows. And yet, still feels she knows all too well.

Hecate has always made her a bit off balance, she reasons, but she’d never expected to trip over herself as much as she had today. Everything had gone wrong, just so wrong.

_Well not everything._

In the end Hecate had smiled, relief evident in the entire set of her body, and Pippa had been glad for that. It had brought her no pleasure to see Hecate so wounded. Sharp, and brittle, and balled up with fear and fury. All on account of Ada’s outsting and Pippa’s mere presence.  

Leaning into the wind, Pippa angles her body so that her broom climbs higher still. She pulls off her gloves and pulls down her ponytail, letting the cold air whistle around her, tangling in her hair and chilling her fingers.

Heart aching, she knows that if Cackle’s is what makes Hecate happy, if distance between them eases her life in any way, then that’s how things will be. She will have to content herself with the gladness that Hecate is doing well; is solid, and safe, and home. And she finds she _is_ glad to know Hecate is all those things, nevermind how desperately, desperately she wishes to be the one to give them to her.

Deep exhaustion pulls at her chest and she closes her eyes for a moment, releasing the spell that has held the clouds at bay all day. She doesn’t feel like sun now. No, she wants to get lost in the gale, ride through eddies and turbulence and feel thunder echo through her chest until both she and the storm are all washed out, until her tears and frustrations are spent and she can face the light again.

The air around her darkens and she tilts her face up to welcome the splash of rain on her cheeks, her robes growing sodden and heavy with each passing moment. The sky crackles and sparks around her and she dodgest and dips, focuses her energy on flying into the very heart of a squall as tumultuous and tempestuous as her heart.

She catches a dark shadow moving from the corner of her eye, a trick of the storm, and she twists into a corkscrew to avoid a jagged slash of lightning. It’s not until she spins back upright and finds another broomstick nearly level with her own that she realizes that the dark shadow is very Hecate Hardbroom shaped indeed.

“Have you lost all reason, Pippa?” Hecate’s voice is nearly lost in the whip of the wind and Pippa can just make out the glimmer of the Repellent Spell she’s conjured around her. “Flying into a hurricane without any sort of protection spell - what on earth -”

She doesn’t know why it makes her so angry - perhaps it’s the way that her stomach still flutters at Hecate’s very appearance - but irritation blooms within her. She slows her broom and holds it steady long enough for their eyes to meet. Lets Hecate see the challenge in her gaze, a look they’d often shared when they both pushed themselves to their very limits during their broomstick display training days. Back when they urged each other to be better, and then better still.

And now Pippa throws Hecate that same fiery stare, lifts her chin and narrows her eyes before shooting off further into the the clouds, Hecate’s voice dissipating in the roar of the storm behind her.

“Pippa - !”

She urges her broomstick on and Hecate tries to catch her, tries to reason with her, until they’re nearly racing. Repellent Spell after Repellent Spell crackles past her broom whenever Hecate gets close enough, but Pippa merely dodges and rolls, laughing a little at the continued shouts of frustration and the absurdity of it all.

“Will you come back to your senses - Pippa!” A Repellent Spell finds it’s mark but Pippa dashes it aside with nimble fingers. It rebounds against Hecate’s own shield, shattering it, and Hecate’s indigent shriek nearly drowns out the next round of thunder.

Soon they are both soaked to the bone, hair loose and flying free around them as they ride the waves of the tempest. Their knees knock as Hecate catches up to her and rams her broom hard against Pippa’s. Pippa pushes back until they’re thigh to thigh, water slicking off of them in torrents.

“There is no _reason_ ,” Hecate shouts into the storm, panting as she fights to keep her broom steady, “for you to be up here in this gale, Pippa.”

Looking over Pippa quirks an eyebrow, racing heart as wild as the windstorm around them. “You’re right,” she calls.

“What?” Hecate is squinting at her in the dark, water streaming down her face.

“I said,” Pippa hollars, “You’re right. No reason.”

“Then why in Merlin’s -?”

“No reason _anymore._ Because we’re here.”

“What?”

But Pippa sends Hecate one last challenging look and sharply turns into a dive, water rushing off her in sheets as she plummets straight down towards the earth. She bursts from the clouds and pulls her broom level again as a castle appears through the curtains of torrential rain.

She can hear Hecate on her tail, unrelenting as the weather in her stream of reprimands as she follows her down.

Pulling up hard at a large window, Pippa waves her hand and the glass melts. She lands neatly on the floor of her chambers, Hecate just behind her, and throws aside her broom.

Water sloshes down into puddles on the stone beneath their feet and they stand together, soaked and breathless, Hecate staring at her in a way that makes Pippa itch with satisfaction. As if she’s finally _seeing her_.

“Have you,” Hecate begins, voice pitched low, “lost your modern _mind_.”

Pippa closes the distance between them until they’re toe to toe. “Have _you_ forgotten that there’s more to The Craft than a dusty old book of rules?”

“The Code is -”

“The Code is an outdated document that can be changed at the very _whim_ of the _man_ who controls it and - by extension - controls all of us.”

“But - but he sent _you_ ,” Hecate sputters, hair dripping, lips trembling. “You said it yourself, you were sent to do the Council’s bidding - his bidding - you’re - you’re _in his pocket_ aren’t you?”

Pippa comes closer still, eyes blazing. “Did it _ever_ occur to you that when The “Great” Wizard looks at me all he sees is _pink_. Did it? It should have crossed your mind, shouldn’t it have? I can’t understand how you feel so threatened by me, not when you make it very clear that you look at me and see the same. You, of all people. You dismiss me as frivolous and foolish and -”

“I do not -”

“No?” They’re both breathing raggedly through their noses and Pippa suddenly feels very tired.

“It’s all a game, Hecate. And I play it.” She turns and passes a hand over her eyes, wiping water from her face, thankful it’s not tears. “I play it so I can keep my school and run it how I wish: on my own terms and with my own rules. No one stops to question a witch like me do they? Not when she’s bright, and pink, and nice to look at.” She turns back to Hecate who is staring at her, mouth open, something expressive in her eyes that Pippa cannot read.

“I came today to try to diffuse the situation, to buy us some _time_ to sort things out. And yes, I did believe that the Council would not change their minds regarding Ada’s position at the school. But I knew they had plans to send in a lot worse if I didn’t take their offer. Which you would have _known_ if you’d given me the time of day to explain myself. And _yes_ , I did like the thought of us together again at a school. Of us working _together_ to make a difference in the lives of magical children. But as soon as I saw how unhappy that idea made you - as soon as there was a _shred_ of evidence that Ada had been wrongly condemned - I set about trying to make things _right._ ”

Her voice raises higher and she feels emotions bubbling up inside her. Hecate hasn’t moved, is standing statue-still, the pool of water at her feet growing ever larger. “I’m _sorry_ that I hurt you. That never was my intention. I came to help and instead I made a mess of it all.”

Exhaustion tugs more sharply at the corners of her vision and she blinks, trying to control her emotions, trying not to sag under the weight it all. Despite her best efforts she feels herself sway, her head suddenly feeling very heavy indeed.

Gentle hands wrap around her upper arms and she looks up into Hecate’s dark eyes. “Pippa.”

“I’m sorry.” She says again and feels so small, and silly, and useless, that she wishes she could melt into the puddle beneath her feet like a witch in a fairytale.

But Hecate shakes her head slightly, lips drawn into a thin line, her eyes never leaving Pippa’s face. “No, Pipsqueak. I’m sorry.”

It’s the use of her nickname more than anything, and suddenly Pippa feels tears joining the raindrops on her face. Hecate reaches out and touches her cheek just barely, long fingers cold against her skin.

“Are you alright?”

“It’s just that I’ve had a really, really bad day.”

The dam inside her breaks and she’s crying pitifully, too tired to hold back any longer, too overwhelmbed by Hecate’s proximity to think clearly. But Hecate’s arms drop around her and she shuffles forward into the embrace until she can bury her face in Hecate’s shoulder and let the tears flow. She clings to her, the heavy fabric of her dress damp beneath her hands, until she quiets and Hecate draws back to look down into her face, frowning a bit.

“Pippa -”

“Please don’t ridicule me anymore - I can’t bear it right now.”

But Hecate’s eyebrows knit together further and her hand returns to Pippa’s face, this time to rest against her forehead. “No, I wasn’t - it’s just -” she drops her hand and wraps her arms more tightly around her and Pippa suddenly realizes that Hecate is doing more to keep her upright than her own legs. “I think you might have a touch of Magical Exhaustion.”

Pippa finds that Hecate looks very beautiful when she’s gone all fuzzy like this. When she’s standing so close and her eyes are so full of concern and raindrops cling to her lashes. She lets herself melt into her embrace and the world falls away from her into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s still raining when she wakes. She can hear it drumming against the windows. But when she opens her eyes, the sky has gone full black and soft, golden light from the lamp beside her bed fills the room. She finds she is dry, wrapped in her dressing gown, and tucked beneath the blanket of her bed.

Hecate nowhere in sight.

Throat constricting as hot embarrassment licks at her insides, she squeezes her eyes shut and tries to breath.

_Of course she wouldn’t stay. Nothing has changed._

For a time she lies still, cycling through the list of thoughts she uses to console herself when life without Hecate grows to be too much. After thirty years she’s well practiced, but today has opened old wounds, making her teary and restless.

When she can’t delay it any longer, she pushes down her heartache along with the covers and slips from the bed, welcoming the way the cold stone beneath her bare feet grounds her just a little.

She pulls open the door to her sitting room and gasps.

Hecate sits on her settee reading _Intro to Modern Magical Theory_ and sipping from a teacup. Her clothes are once again dry, although her hair still hangs down around her in a dark sheet. And Pippa flushes - first in surprise - and then at how badly she aches to curl her fingers in it.

Hecate looks up at Pippa’s entrance and there’s nearly a half smile around her mouth. Nearly.

“I made tea.” She gestures at the pot and the extra cup on the table and Pippa, feeling uncharacteristically shy, crosses and takes up a seat at the other end of the couch, tucking her feet up underneath her for warmth.

“How long was I asleep?” She accepts the teacup from Hecate and sips it gratefully, relaxing as the steam curls around her face.

“I’d hardly call passing out from Magical Exhaustion “sleep,” Pippa. Did you keep that storm at bay all day? That’s an immense expenditure of magic.”

Pippa shrugs, grateful that Hecate’s tone leans more towards curiosity than admonition.

“Why did you do it?”

She glances up and meets Hecate’s eyes briefly before dropping her gaze back into her teacup to watch the way the amber liquid swirls. “I thought the school could use a morale boost. Everything seems better on a sunny day doesn’t it?”

Hecate doesn’t answer and she knows that the other witch must be frowning at her again, exasperated that Pippa would drain her magic on such a foolhardy indulgence.

She so intent on her teacup that she doesn’t notice that Hecate’s come closer until cool hands are wrapping around her own and lowering the teacup into her lap.

“You haven’t taken up tea leaf reading as part of modern magic have you, Pipsqueak?” But there’s no bite to her voice. Instead it’s gentle in a way that makes Pippa tremble a bit inside. She raises her eyes to Hecate’s and sees concern in them once more.

“No,” she whispers, watching as Hecate’s lips quirk a bit. “Not even I would be that foolish.”

“You keep saying that.” Hecate releases her hands and draws back slightly looking frustrated and Pippa feels her heart squeeze painfully. “I confess I have a part to play in making you to feel that way.” Her fingers come together and twist, a sure sign she’s every bit as anxious as Pippa feels. “I do believe I owe you an...apology.”

“For which part?” Her voice comes out flat and she regrets it immediately. But Hecate huffs a bit on a laugh and holds Pippa’s gaze. “For a great many things.”

Pippa’s eyes drop back to her cup and she fidgets with the handle, uncertain in the face of everything that hangs between them. “Can you forgive me for not telling you my reasons for coming to Cackle’s today? I should have been up front with you. It’s just I thought it rather better to do in person, and I didn’t want to say it in front of the girls - “

“ - and then I wouldn’t give you a chance to, would I?” Hecate’s fingers twist together tighter still and Pippa longs to take them in her own.

“I should have been more direct. I’m sorry.”

“You did more than enough in the end. I don’t know many who would have listened to Mildred Hubble other than you. And without your faith in the girl I’m afraid Ada’s name never would have been cleared.”

Pippa finds herself blinking at tears again and she ducks her chin down to her chest in an attempt to keep her heartache private.

“I’m glad, Hecate, that you’ve found a place you call home. I know how important that must before you. And I’m so very sorry that today you felt I was trying to take that from you.”

A tear slips unbidden down her cheek and she hunches more into her teacup, cursing her emotions.

Hecate’s very quiet and Pippa doesn’t know if she’s angry with her or if she’s giving Pippa time to collect herself. When she has done so, she looks up and find Hecate looking at her with an inscrutable expression once again gracing her features. She looks as if she’s about to speak but stops herself, pauses, tries again, but still stalls.

“More tea, I think.” She murmurs finally, leaning forward to grasp the teapot and top off their cups. And then, “I haven’t been a very good friend to you, I’m afraid.”

Pippa wants to protest. To tell her that she’s the best friend she’s ever had. To tell her everything that is in her heart. But the distance that Hecate’s kept between them all these months, all these years, stills her tongue and she can only manage to shrug unhappily.

Hecate slides forward again until their knees are almost touching and, for a moment, Pippa thinks she’s going to take her hand again. She doesn’t. But when she speaks her voice as soft - almost as if a plea hovers just beneath. “Please, I’d like to try again. Well - _again_ again.” She smiles tightly and her eyes drop down to study her hands where they clench in her lap. “I can’t say I’ve had a friend since we parted all those years ago and I’m - well - loathed to admit that I’m rather out of practice.” She glances up and Pippa sees pink tinge her pale cheeks.

Heart aching, Pippa lays a hand over Hecate’s stilling them.

“You’re well respected at Cackle’s, Hecate - surely you count your fellow teachers as friends? Surely you count Ada?”

But Hecate shrugs and her laugh is edged with self-deprecation. “My employer and my colleagues? I’m very loyal to Ada, I will admit. As you said, we make a good team.”

“But?” Pippa prompts, trying not to flinch at how the rest of _that_ conversation had panned out between them. She brushes her thumb softly against Hecate’s knuckles.

Hecate lets out a breath and her eyes flutter shut for a moment before continuing. “But there’s something safe in living and working in the same place. Everyone is a colleague, or a pupil, and each relationship is constrained by that. My socializations are always within the context of work, for I am always working. Everything is so very well defined. I know what’s expected of me from morning to evening. My meals appear at certain times, there are classes, and rounds, and office hours. I have a strict schedule and it suits me.” She swallows and Pippa can see emotion rising her in her eyes.

“But?” She whispers again, and Hecate shrugs a little.

“But I’m not very good at breaking out of those habits, I’m afraid. I’m not very good at letting you in. I suppose -” she pauses and looks nearly frightened for a moment and Pippa grips her hands more firmly. “I suppose that I didn’t want you to get too close - to see the problems we sometimes have at Cackle’s. To know that I continued to choose Cackle’s over you and for you to judge Cackle’s shortcomings more harshly for it.”

It hangs in the air between them and Pippa blinks at Hecate in surprise. She can’t think of anything to say but Hecate continues doggedly on. “I need to confess something to you, Pippa, I can hardly bare to admit to it.”

Pippa’s eyes snap to Hecate’s face and her heartbeat increases threefold.

“Yes?”

“I lost my temper at Sybil Hallow last week. I said things - I said things that Miss Broomhead would say. I frightened her. I _hurt_ her. Pippa - I don’t know who I’ve become sometimes.”

Hecate tries to pull away and Pippa rushes to pack away the longing in her heart for a different confession, pain and sympathy unfurling within her instead at the implications of Hecate’s admission.

She holds on tightly to Hecate and anchors her in place, scooting closer into her space.

“No, Hecate. No. You will never be like that woman. You may have lost your temper - you may have said things that were surely regrettable - but that doesn’t make you Broomhead. You could never, _will never_ , be like her.”

Hecate raises her eyes slowly and Pippa’s heart pangs at the way her lips tremble.

“I blamed Sybil’s breakdown today on you. I couldn’t own up to what I’d done, the pressures I’d placed on the poor girl’s shoulders. It was so much easier to hold it against you -”

“But I wasn’t paying attention as I should have been, Hiccup. I was too distracted by my own agenda to notice she was struggling -”

“But you’re so _good_ ,” Hecate’s voice comes out cracked and ragged and Pippa feels her eyes widen. “You’re a much better person than I could ever be - more well liked as a result, more -”

“Please stop.” Pippa turns her hand over and tangles their fingers together, squeezing. She smiles slightly at Hecate’s started expression. “You’re always trying to make things a competition between us when really none exists - of course growing up we pushed each other - but that was only because we brought out the best in one another. Or so I always felt. I don’t believe I’m wrong?”

She looks searchingly at Hecate and moves her hand up to cup her cheeks when Hecate looks ashamed. “I’m not upset with you, Hiccup. I just want you to know by now that I am on your side. I always have been.”

Hecate is drawing tight shallow breaths but she nods and Pippa moves her hand back down to clasp her fingers once more, squeezing slightly.

Hecate squeezes back but when she speaks her voice is low and wavers slightly. “I’m sorry that I’ve dismissed you - that I’ve made you feel silly and foolish. You say you wanted to be like me - that you never wanted to be better than me. But I’ve always wanted to be more like _you_.” Her voice catches. “Pippa.”

They look at each other and Hecate seems to be struggling with herself.

“While you were resting I confess I did a great deal of thinking. About what you said about The Great Wizard. And what I know about you, and your school, and about what you said about The Code. I’d like -” She takes a deep breath and her shoulders square, “I’d like to learn more about modern magic. Will you teach me?” She flushes and sits back away from Pippa and Pippa lets her go, plucking her up teacup instead so that her hands have something to do.

“But I thought you disapproved of such frivolity.”

Hecate looks very pained.

“I can’t help but think of Sybil and many of the other girls at Cackle’s - about why their magic is so weak - has been increasingly weak for years now. You can’t deny that you were surprised by how far behind the girls were on your visit today?”

Pippa meets her gaze and waits for Hecate to arch an expectant eyebrow before she slowly shakes her head.

Hecate reaches out and picks up _Intro to Modern Magical Theory_ from the table, holding it against her chest like a shield. “Teach me. Please?”

It’s so unlike Hecate to ask for anything, to appeal for help, or admit to _needing_. Pippa smiles gently, relieved at the gesture of trust. “If you’re sure?”

“I am.”

“Alright then.”

“Alright.”

They sit in silence for a moment until Pippa yawns and Hecate’s on her feet in an instant. “I’ve overstayed my welcome. It is very late. I’m afraid I must depart and leave you to rest.”

But Pippa catches her wrist. “It is late - and it’s dreadful out there.” She tugs her closer and her voice go soft, unable to disguise the longing she feels that Hecate should remain. “Stay tonight. Please stay.”

Hecate hesitates, but her eyes are soft in a way that almost seems like a memory to Pippa.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.” Pippa rises, fingers still wrapped about Hecate’s wrist.

“Then you’ll give me a tour of Pentangle’s in the morning? If you have the time, that is.”

“I do,” Pippa smiles, pulling on Hecate gently so there’s enough space for her to squeeze past her between the table and the couch. “I wasn’t expected back until the day after tomorrow. My Deputy Head has things well in order for now.”

Pippa heads to the bedroom and opens her wardrobe, pulling out a set of lavender pajamas. When she turns back, Hecate is standing in the doorway watching her. “You really were planning on remaining at Cackle’s.”

Suddenly uncertain, Pippa approaches and tentatively hands over the nightwear, relieved when Hecate takes it. “I hadn’t made any decision. I did plan on staying over a few nights to get the lay of things. And I did want to be close to you. I imagined the transition would be a difficult one, but I hardly knew how difficult things were for you until I arrived.”

“I should have mirrored you. After it happened, I should have called.”

Hecate looks so beautiful leaning against the doorframe, hair down, eyes glistening, that Pippa finds she has to turn away, returning to the wardrobe to produce a blanket and a pillow.

When she returns, Hecate moves back into the living room ahead of her and Pippa waves her hand at the settee, rolling her eyes when nothing happens.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to -” Hecate quirks a finger and it transforms into a single bed.

“Ah, see this is what happens when I leave these things to you - I would have given you a bed of luxury. Or at least a little more space.”

“This will do just fine.” Hecate is smiling a bit and takes the bedding that Pippa proffers. “Please, get some rest. And don’t even think about attempting magic again until morning.”

Rolling her eyes once more Pippa moves closer but feels suddenly shy again. She reaches out and gently squeezes Hecate’s arm.

“Goodnight, Hiccup.”

“Goodnight, Pipsqueak.”

Stepping back she heads to her bedchamber before turning. “I’m glad you’re here.”

With one last smile she closes the door and climbs back into bed, the image of Hecate’s pink cheeks lingering in her mind as she falls asleep.

______

She must doze for a period of time because when she awakes again it’s still very dark outside, though there’s a thin line of light under her door to the sitting room. Rising, she pulls her dressing gown together from where it’s fallen open and crosses to the door on tiptoes, quietly pulling it open.

For the second time that night she’s arrested by the sight of Hecate in her sitting room, this time curled up in blankets and fast asleep with _Intro to Modern Magical Theory_ open on her chest.

It’s not a new sight to Pippa, though the chasm of years that stretch between now and the last time she stumbled upon Hecate like this makes her heart ache. She never thought she’d get to see this sight again and she pauses to simply take it in.

She knows the next movements like a long forgotten dance. Knows how Hecate will wake slightly at the loss of her book, knows how she will murmur her name nearly unintelligibly, and how she will sleepily reach for her. And though everything has changed between them, Pippa muses, as Hecate’s arms come out to wrap around her in her half-sleep, some things never well.

She allows herself to be pulled back onto the bed, the same sort of narrow bed they shared in decades past, and her heart flutters at Hecate’s languid movements, so different from when she’s awake, yet so familiar and achingly sweet.

Hecate’s head comes to rest on Pippa’s shoulders and she rubs her cheek against Pippa’s robe.

“Did I fall asleep reading again?”

“Yes, you did.”

Hecate’s eyes blink sleepily open and she suddenly comes into herself, cheeks redding as she pushes herself up on a hand and stares down at Pippa in dismay. “Oh.”

“It’s alright, Hiccup. Come back?” She watches as Hecate softens, feels nearly undone at how Hecate’s dark hair curls against the lilac satin of her borrowed pajamas, how the dramatic coloring offsets her pale skin and pink cheeks so beautifully. She could gaze at her forever like this, she thinks, but then, when Hecate returns to rest against her, she reasons she could hold her like this forever, too.

“Are you sure this is alright?” Hecate breathes, breath tickling Pippa’s neck.

“Yes. But I do believe I was right before about how you need a larger bed. We are rather more grown now than our school days.” She can feel the way Hecate’s cheek suddenly burns through the fabric of her dressing gown, but the bed does expand around them and Pippa settles back a little more comfortably.

She looks down and tries not to let her heartbeat reveal what looking into Hecate’s sleep clouded eyes at this proximity does to her. Instead she strokes one hand through that ebony hair and sighs.

“I never did ask why you followed me after I left Cackle’s today.”

“No,” Hecate sniffs, “You were rather more interested in getting us incinerated by a lightning bolt.”

“You loved it.”

“I did not.”

“Down deep you know that’s the most fun you’ve had in over 360 moon cycles.”

Hecate’s up on a hand again gazing down at her. “That is ridiculous.”

“But true,” Pippa teases, and wonders how as adults they’re still playing this game. If it were anyone else she’d be kissing them silly by now. _But it’s not anyone else. It’s Hecate._

And she doesn’t _want_ anyone one else.

Hecate’s lips tug up at the edges, one of Pippa’s favorite looks on her, and she gradually settles back to lay beside her.

“Maybe so.”

They’re quiet for a moment and then, “Why did you really fly after me today?”

She shifts her head on the pillow so she can see her better, noting how Hecate seems to be mulling over her answer. It takes a long time before she says, “I’m not entirely sure.” She glances up at Pippa and her hands clench and unclench on the blanket. “After you left and all was well again at Cackle’s, it didn’t take me long to realize that perhaps I needed to make things right with you as well. And that didn’t seem like something that could wait.”

She turns on her side and Pippa mimics her so they’re facing each other, each with a hand under their cheek. Hecate moves her free hand on the sheet between them so it’s just barely pressed against her own.

“I meant what I said about there being a great many things I owe you apologizes for. To start with, for thinking the worst of you today. For pitting us against each other instead of turning to you for help. More than anything, for underestimating you and doubting your motives.”

“I like being underestimated, it gives me an advantage.” Pippa moves her hand and lets their thumbs brush. “But not by you, Hiccup. I want you to see me for who I am.”

Hecate’s eyes burn brightly across the pillow from her and Pippa feels vulnerability flutter in her stomach. But she can’t help trust Hecate with herself, has never been able to hold back. Has always bared herself a little too much, stripped herself down and offered herself up to her without ever thinking much about it.

Except for one final secret. And she can’t decide if it will ever be worth the risk of losing this.

Hecate’s eyes don’t leave hers and she feels a warm hand move over her own.

“I want that too.” Her voice is low and she looks as if she wants to say more, but Pippa can see how her throat is constricting, jaw working with suppressed emotion.

“What do you say we sleep now and start fresh again tomorrow?” She turns onto her back and is pleased when Hecate willingly, albeit gingerly, moves to take up her place along her side again.

“Yes. Tomorrow.”

“You’ll have to get the lights,” Pippa whispers in Hecate’s ear and they both laugh a little before settling down into the dark and the quiet until only the rain and the slow even sounds of their combined breathing fill the room.

And long after Hecate goes still and soft against her, Pippa stays up late into the night. Tries to memorize each breath, each heartbeat, more urgently than ever before.

She’s learned enough to know by now that these moments between them never seem to last.


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning she rises early, regretfully untangling herself from the bed, nearly caving when the arms around her try to tighten as she moves away. Hecate makes a series of little noises in protest that have Pippa sitting on the edge of the bed for a good five minutes breathing carefully through her nose. She knows how Hecate can be upon waking; sleepy, and soft, and open in a way that Pippa’s not all too sure she can resist after the events of the evening before. Or the forty years leading up to them.

Still, she moves from the bed and stretches. Collects the morning paper from the window ledge and allows a few minutes to let the sun wash over her face from where it breaks through the receding storm clouds, watery and bright, and once again welcome.

She’s making tea when Hecate finally stirs and brings it over so she can perch on the edge of the bed, smiling at Hecate’s unruly hair and rumbled pajamas.

“Good morning, Sleepy. Have some tea.”

Hecate’s nose scrunches a bit, a look far too adorable to be allowed to grace her features for more than a moment, but she drags herself upright, rubbing at her eyes, and gratefully takes the proffered teacup.

“Breakfast is from seven to eight. Unless you’d rather I arrange for food to be brought here?”

Hecate sips her tea and shakes her head. “I’d like to see your school.”

Warmth floods Pippa and she can’t help the smile that tugs her mouth up. She pats Hecate’s knee and rises. “Alright then. Drink your tea and dress. I’ll be out in a moment and we can head down to the dinning hall.”

Hecate murmurs her acquaintances into her teacup, eyes drifting shut. “And don’t fall back asleep, Hiccup. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”

That gets two dark eyes open and scowling at her from over the rim of the cup.

Shutting the door to her room Pippa grins. Between the sunshine and waking up in Hecate’s arms, today will surely be a brighter day than the last.

_____

She watches Hecate’s face carefully as they descend the stairs to the dining hall. Watches how she curiously looks around and even lets her eyes flutter shut in appreciation as they pass the large french-style windows that allow for light to pour into the castle.

It’s much different than Cackle’s, Pippa considers. She explains how important of light was to her when she was searching for locations for the school. How in their days at Spugworth’s the cold, dank halls and classrooms had made her skin crawl - how she always felt itchy and close - like she could never take a full deep breath. How she often wondered if that’s why Hecate caught a chill so frequently. Hecate nods along, remembering as well it seems.

“I thought it important that the students could look out a window - daydream if they needed to. Imagination does wonders for the mind. It’s a tenant of modern magic to feel relaxed and at ease when working with one’s powers. I wanted to make sure the castle lent itself to those aims.”

Hecate pauses and turns her face up to the sun as they pass through a particularly bright corridor. “It’s rather bright?” She cracks one eye open a directs her gaze at Pippa, but she’s smiling just a little.

“Don’t worry, Hiccup. It’s not a tenant of modern magic that one must match the lighting. You shan’t have to wear pink today, I promise.” They walk a little further and Pippa can hear the din from breakfast as they approach the great hall.

“That’s another principle of modern magic: come as you are. In fact, that’s the motto of Pentangle’s: _venerunt ad te_.”

Hecate sniffs slightly but Pippa merely hooks a hand in the crook of her arm and directs her into the dining hall. The large glass windows look out over a stunning vista with a large lake sparking down at the bottom of the valley below. She’s pleased to hear Hecate gasp at the sight.

“Oh, and there’s Avery - here - come meet my Deputy Head.”

She drags Hecate over to the head table trying not to laugh as Hecate gapes at the large, sunny room and then at Avery Heartsong’s large, sunny smile.

“Hecate, allow me to introduce my Deputy, Avery Heartsong. Avery, this is Hecate Hardbroom, Deputy at Cackle’s.”

She does nearly laugh then as Avery gives her a _look_ and nearly half a silent conversation passes between them before Hecate clears her throat and Pippa turns to see her looking rather pained.

“Well Met, Miss Heartsong.”

“Please, call me Avery, and Well Met - may I call you Hecate? It’s only that Pip here has told me so much about you.”

She feels her cheeks flame but Avery merely smiles serenely and gestures for them to join her at the table. Pippa feels awfully glad she sent a maglet note prior to departing Cackle’s, but curses that she didn’t alert Avery to her company upon her return.

For Avery is making chatting with Hecate look downright easy, explaining the different school houses with warmth and humor, all the while shooting Pippa congratulatory glances each time Hecate’s eyes move to her plate or to explore the room.

Pippa huffs and tucks into her breakfast, dismayed that Hecate sits between them so she can’t kick her friend under the table. Avery catches her eye again as if she knows exactly what Pippa is thinking, and Pippa retaliates by testing her newly regenerated magic by turning Avery’s eggs icy cold.

She feels great satisfaction as Avery’s fork clatters from her fingers, and tugs on Hecate’s elbow before Avery can reveal anymore than Pippa would care for. “What would you like to see first? The grounds or the classrooms?”

Which is how they find themselves outside twenty minutes later, strolling through the extensive gardens and greenhouses. Hecate’s eyes flash from plant to plant, and she bends down to examine more than a few of Pentangle’s rarer varieties of botanicals. They discuss uses, and growth strategies, and proper irrigation, and Pippa thinks it’s been many years indeed since she’s seen this many traces of uneasiness gone from around Hecate’s eyes.

They meander through one of one of Pentangle’s ornamental labyrinthes and Pippa stoops down to pluck a stock of lavender from the verge, rolling it between her fingers as they walk and talk until the air is permeated with the gentle scent.

“I like to create outdoor spaces where the students can come and get away from the bustle of life in the school. There’s so much pressure and change when one is young, I think it helps to find a place to go in nature and clear the mind.”

“We used to go to that rock in the woods,” Hecate murmurs and there’s a peculiar look on her face.

“Yes, that’s right. It faced that lovely little stream, remember? We carved runes into it and would go there whenever -”

They look at each other for a moment and Pippa knows that she doesn’t need to finish that sentence aloud. _Whenever Miss Broomhead or the other students had made your life particularly miserable._

Hecate shrugs and turns towards the castle, shading her eyes. “I suppose you’ll tell me all about the virtues of physical exercise next?” She jutts her chin in the direction of the whoops and laughter that echo from the witch ball courts.

Pippa laughs and they loop around to watch the match. “We do a fair amount of broomstick drilling, too. You know I’d never allow that not to be a top priority. Though, I admit, I’m rather jealous that Cackle’s procured ‘The Star of the Sky’ before I could get my hands on her.”

Hecate chokes and Pippa smiles sweetly, giving her a moment to collect herself.

She nearly suggests that Pentangle’s and Cackle’s go head-to-head in a display tournament, mentally ribbing Hecate about whether or not her school’s team would show up when it came down to it. But even in her head the joke is more painful than funny and instead she clears her throat and indicates they should walk back to the castle.

They’re nearly to the path leading to the entrance when a ball goes whizzing overhead and smashes through one of the large glass windows with a loud crash. Beside her Hecate jumps, her face twisting as the students on the court shriek and dash over to observe the damage.

“Sorry, Miss Pentangle! Whoops, sorry, Miss Pentangle!” They chorus as they flock past.

Pippa nods at them and Hecate’s fingers come out to grip her wrist.

“Aren’t you going to do something?”

“Just wait,” Pippa murmurs.

“But there should be consequences surely - “ Hecate sputters, turning to stare at her.

Pippa lifts her shoulders but keep her eyes on the students who are now clustered around the broken window.

“Mind the glass,” she calls and they nod as a few ‘ _Yes, Miss Pentangles_ ’ are called out between muttered conversation. It looks like there’s a bit of debate, and Pippa can’t help but glance over at Hecate who is fully frowning in grave disapproval at Pippa’s lack of discipline.

But the students seem to come to a consensus and begin to wave their their hands and chant, the shards of glass rising from the grass like so many pieces of a puzzle and reconfiguring themselves together. Two students steps back and seem to be directing the movement of the glass towards the window, eyes focused as their peers continue the incantation. The glass rises nearly to window ledge but wobbles a bit as the students try to raise it high enough.

“I think we might need a bit more power, Miss Pentangle,” one of the girls directing the glass calls and Pippa steps forward and places one hand on each of their shoulders.

“You’re doing wonderfully. All of you. Try adding a repeat of the second versus.”

They do and the glass soars high enough to slip back into place, mended and good as new. The students cheer cluster around her.

“Did you see that, Miss Pentangle?”

“We did it!”

“We only just learned the Object Reconfiguration Spell - I can’t wait to tell Miss Pennymoon we got the chance to practice it!”

Pippa makes sure to congratulate them all and sends them off to the changing rooms as the bell rings for break. Turning back to Hecate she feels her cheeks turn rather pink when she’s staring at her, confusion replacing the frown.

“You just let them fix the window? No detentions?”

Pippa hums and rejoins her on the path and they head into the shadowy arches of the entrance.

“What if they hadn’t been strong enough? What if they had dropped it and injured themselves?”

Pippa stops and turns to face her. “Students at Pentangle’s know that they’re encouraged to try to solve a problem on their own, especially if it includes working together.”

“But they started to raise it and realized they weren’t powerful enough - what if you hadn’t been there?”

“Our Physical Education Instructor, Miss Marchpayne, would have stepped in. Or, if they were unsupervised, they would have lowered the glass and sought assistance. Help is always available to those who seek it here and the student’s know to put safety above all else. They also know they will only get in trouble for malicious or senselessly dangerous acts. But never for trying to problem solve. It gives them a chance to learn - not only in a practical sense - but to develop skills like teamwork and confidence in themselves.”

Hecate turns away and walks in front of her and for a moment Pippa worries that she’s upset her. But when they come to the large oak doors she halts and turns back. “That isn’t modern magic, is it?”

“No,” says Pippa softly. “I don’t think it is.”

Hecate nods and holds the door open for them. She seems to be digesting the event as they navigate their way through the halls and is very quiet.

“I thought you’d like to see our potions lab?”

She lets Hecate grill the Pentangle’s potions instructor for the duration of break, trying not to laugh as Hecate stalks around the room examining vials and ingredients, shooting questions at poor dear Mister Sagebert until his bushy white ear hair is puffed up and his eyebrows nearly top the peak of his shiny bald head.

He really only comes up to Hecate’s shoulder, and Pippa eventually takes pity and rescues him as Hecate corners him by a cauldron and demands to know his opinion on the debate between fox claws versus crow eyes in Level V Switching Spells.

Back in the hallway Hecate regards her ruefully. “I would have gone with fox claws, they’re much more versatile.” Laughing Pippa guides her back to the dining hall and they pass a pleasant lunch in debate - although Pippa notices that Mister Sagebert shoots her a reproachful look when he joins the table and sits at the far end away from them. She makes a mental note to remember to buy him a whole new stock of crows eyes as an apology.

After lunch they tour the chanting classroom, the runes and languages department, and the art room, as well as the Wellness Center and the Contemplation Room. Hecate takes a turn three times around the last room, looking up at the false starry ceiling with bemused interest - but interest nonetheless - taking care to not disturb the students who sit on low poufs or who recline out across the floor in their silent reflections.

She’s quiet again as they depart and Pippa allows her space for her thoughts as they descend from the tower room.

“I think I rather might have liked having a room like that when we were in school,” Hecate says softly when they’re halfway across the courtyard on the walk to Pippa’s office.

Pippa stops and turns to her. “I thought you might.”

Hecate’s brow furrows and she pauses to survey the surrounding castle, carefully watching the various clusters of students milling about as they head to their next lesson or bunch up in groups talking and laughing.

“It’s funny, it seems like so many of the things that I would have found to make make school more bearable have been realized here.” She looks like like she’s trying to work something out once more and Pippa steps closer and lays a hand gently on her arm.

“That’s because you’ve always been my greatest inspiration, Hecate. I wanted to build a school where children could grow up to be great witches and wizards. Where they felt empowered as they grew into their magic, never fearful of their power.” All her air nearly leaves her lungs at how bright and wet Hecate’s eyes have become but she manages to continue on. “Hiccup, haven’t you realized? I built this school because of you.”

Hecate’s eyes lock onto hers and she takes Pippa’s hand in a motion that sends her heart fluttering down to rest somewhere in her stomach. Pippa watches her open her mouth to speak, watches her move in even closer -

The sound of tears nearby makes them jump, and they turn as a unit to find a small first year girl standing on the courtyard steps, tears streaming down her face. She plops down dejectedly, sniffling and sobbing. Pippa can just make out the exam paper in her hand, the red ink that marks nearly the entire page visible even from the distance. Biting her lip she glances at Hecate, whose eyes are still rather wet. Hecate nods at the girl and releases her hand. “Shouldn’t you -”

“Mmm,” Pippa says, turning back to consider the girl. “I think if we give it just a moment - “

The doors open and a rowdy group of fifth year students pour out on the steps, happily talking and laughing, broomsticks in hand, only to halt when they see the girl. One of the boys pauses and stoops down beside her. He speaks to her softly while his friends look on and one of the older girls reaches into her robes and hands over a handkerchief. They group together for a moment until the boy waves them on and they depart to the fields as he moves to sit beside the girl who is now wiping her eyes.

Pippa can feel Hecate breathing beside her as they watch the boy take the paper and read it over, speaking to the girl quietly all the while. She takes Hecate’s elbow and moves them close enough to hear.

“Oh yeah, Dobson’s rune class. I remember this unit. It was tough.” He walks the girl through her answers, asking her questions and gently correcting, pointing at the page until the girl is nodding along, eyes bright with interest.

“Dobson’s tough but fair,” they boy is saying, rubbing at his chin and squinting down at the page. “I’m sure if you went and asked him for a retake and explained you’ve now better grasped the concepts he’d let you have another go. And his office hours are really helpful, so don’t be shy about attending. Nearly failed this test myself, to be honest. Wasn’t until I started going to after-hours that I really start to grasp runes. In fact, wouldn’t mind tutoring you myself for a bit until you feel more confident - it’s my favorite subject now.” He leans forward and mock whispers conspiratorially, “But don’t tell Dobson - he’d probably make me compose an ode to runes _in_ runes - you know he loves his poetry.” The girl laughs, tears gone, and the two stand and make their way back into the castle talking animatedly.  

Hecate rounds on her. “May we retire to your office? I rather think there are some things we ought to discuss.”


	4. Chapter 4

Hands suddenly unsteady, Pippa transfers them to her office and summons the tea tray, gesturing at Hecate to take a seat in one of the armchairs, passing her a cup before settling in the chair across from her. She can’t read Hecate’s expression and her heart pounds uncomfortably. It’s quite like performing a last second corkscrew on a broomstick, though she’s not sure she likes the way adrenaline courses through her blood in quite the same way.

They sit in silence for a long time, until Pippa feels like she ought to apologize for something, although she can’t determine what it might be. Just when she feels can’t stand the quiet anymore, Hecate sets down her teacup with a sharp clatter and rises to pace the floor before her desk.

“Hecate?”

“I don’t understand.” She’s shaking her head in a jerky motion and Pippa bites her lip, giving her time. “I don’t understand any of this.”

“Hecate -”

“You should hate me - I don’t understand how you don’t. I _left you_ . I treated you like you meant nothing to me.” She whirls on Pippa and her jaw works against emotion. “I _hurt you_.”

“Hecate - “

“And you build this school - this place that’s just - “ She breaks off, voice catching, and Pippa stands and moves to her. Hecate stops short and looks at her helplessly, conflict etched across her features. “I don’t understand how you don’t despise Cackle’s. How you don’t despise me.”

Pippa grasps her wrists, stroking gently as she guides her over to the sofa.

“I couldn’t despise you Hecate. Or the place you’ve chosen to make your life and dedicated yourself to so thoroughly. The Cackle’s have built a school with a great legacy. It has centuries old traditions, a reputation, a gravitas - a place in the magical world. Attendance there really means something.”

“But you built this school yourself, it didn’t come to you by birthright. It wasn’t something you were given. It’s something you’ve made from your own sheer will.”

“Hiccup, once again you see things as a competition when there is none. And no one does anything truly big alone. When I don’t know how best to integrate standard magical traditions - the ones that further Pentangle’s mission - it’s Cackle’s I look to first. It’s _you_ I look to, really. I think about what you would do. Or I pick up educational magazines with articles that quote you in them. Or I write to Ada and ask her point blank.”

“You write to Ada? You ask about me?”

“Mmmh, we have had a correspondence for many years now.” Hecate stares at her, one of her eyes narrowing, and Pippa rushes on.

“And Avery has been a great guide as well. She went to Havenwood, well respected and still traditional, but much more aligned with the values of Pentangle’s than Spugworth’s ever could to be.”

Pippa sighs and squeezes Hecate’s hand. “Magic is often a source of exploration and play at Pentangle’s but when there’s an age old tradition that really matters, that upholds our values as a modern school, I make sure we do it in a way that you would find no fault in. Like our ceremonial fires on Halloween. We mark the day with solemnity and give thanks for our gifts. We honor the passing of souls between this realm and the next. After all, sometimes traditions exists for a reason. And it’s every bit as important here at Pentangle’s to make sure that the students have a fundamental understanding of traditional customs and ceremony. We honor The Code as well, but only insofar as it continues to uphold the values of Pentangle’s: come as you are, do no harm, with knowledge comes great responsibility.”

Hecate looks at her as if she’s trying to sort and resort many pieces of information in her head at once and Pippa takes pity on her. “You know we don’t always have complete successes - I won’t tell you what she did, I believe she deserves a fresh start, but Enid Nightshade one of the few students to ever be expelled from our academy. And now at Cackle’s she’s blooming.”

“More from the influence of Mildred Hubble, I’m afraid, than any intervention on the school’s part.”

“I think you give yourself too little credit.”

But Hecate pulls away and Pippa watches as her hands ball into fists in her lap. “There was an incident recently. A prank. Enid was at the center of it and Ada nearly expelled her. I cannot excuse my part in it, I encouraged Ada to be hard on her. It was an ill conceived stunt on the girl’s behalf, but I recognize the signs in her of a child without much parental support. And still I chose punishment rather than perhaps a more proactive approach.”

“Hecate -”

“How do I cull this urge to control - to reprimand? What is left of me without these things, Pippa?” Her back straightens and she blinks rapidly, drawing away and digging her nails against her knees.

“What’s your biggest fear about Cackle’s, Hecate?”

She watches as Hecate purses her lips and consider the question, eyeing Pippa uncertainty. “That the girls will get hurt. That I won’t teach them enough and they won’t be prepared to handle their magic.”

“The fact that you fear for the girls shows you care, Hiccup. It’s not what’s left of you - on the contrary - it’s what is _central_ to you. Even if you try to hide that part of yourself away, it doesn’t change the fact that your heart has always felt too much rather than too little.”

Hecate blinks at her.

“You were taught to fear your magic. You were taught that loss of control came with dire consequences and to fear anything outside the adherence to strict rules. And sometimes caring for someone can very much feel like the loss of control, I think.” Pippa scoots closer to her on the couch so that they nearly touch.

“I didn’t show you anything today to make you feel that you ought to change, Hecate. In fact, I’d be very sorry indeed if you were anyone other than who you are. But for those moments when you feel you may be too harsh - too ruled by fear to let your heart help temper your responses - perhaps those are moments to take a chance, to do things differently.”

“How do I begin to do things differently?” There’s a note to Hecate’s voice Pippa can’t place and she sighs, taking Hecate’s hands again in her own.

“By letting yourself fall. Little by little.”

And Hecate stares at her. Eyes narrow and then wide, as if she’s suddenly found the answer she’s been looking for. When she kisses Pippa it’s desperate and searching, a little off center, and she pulls away far too soon. “Like that?”

Pippa freezes, gasping for breath, feels her lips tingle as if Hecate has left traces of magic there against her skin.

She’s pulling her back in before her brain can catch up, trembling with relief as Hecate’s arms move to wrap around her as their mouths connect again, and, again, and again. Until Pippa finds herself halfway in Hecate’s lap and breaks away to draw in air, fingers curling against Hecate’s dress as she fights the urge to spin into a thousand pieces at the feel of Hecate against her.

“Yes, like that. Oh, _Merlin_ , yes like that.”

She brings their mouths back together and can’t help the little sounds that pass from her mouth to Hecate’s as they move against each other, frantic and feverish in their rush rid themselves of their clothes.

Hecate’s has Pippa’s dress halfway worked down and is planting hot kisses along her neck when she pulls back suddenly. Looks up at Pippa with mussed hair and swollen lips, let’s Pippa kiss her once, twice, maybe six times, before she cups her face and holds her steady, thumbs stroking over Pippa’s cheekbones. And Pippa can’t help sound of want that spills out of her. Can’t help the way her body trembles and cants against Hecate, can’t help but repeat both noise and motion when Hecate’s breath catches in her throat.

“I should have kissed you yesterday,” Hecate whispers, their lips millimeters apart. “I wanted to. I wanted to pull you off that broom and kiss you silly.” She kisses her again. “I wanted to kiss you goodnight. Both times.” She kisses her twice more. “I wanted to kiss you goodmorning. All morning. All day.”

With surprising strength, Hecate flips her and Pippa feels the press of the couch against her back, Hecate above her, mouth exploring every inch of flesh she can find as she whispers all the times she’s ever wanted to do just this. After the Spelling Bee. By the lake. In the display locker rooms. Under the stars. In chanting class. At a conference fifteen years ago when she’d walked away instead of saying hello. On Pippa’s 16th birthday. On her 15th birthday. Maybe even her 14th birthday. On the roof at Cackle’s. On the roof at Spugworth’s. At the Leavers Ball. _Especially_ at the Leavers Ball.

And Pippa brings their mouths back together just to shut her up, pressing up against her. She runs her hands down her sides and feels the muscles twitch and jump beneath her palms. Circling her hands up she finds a zipper, tugging it down until she can touch the warm skin of Hecate’s back, pushing Hecate upright and tugging at the fabric, hardly letting their mouths part.

She breaks away only briefly to gasp out, “Bedroom. That’s where you’ll want to kiss me next?”

Hecate’s eyes go very dark and she needs only nod once before Pippa transfers them. They land on the bed and Pippa tugs Hecate’s dress down and off her before pushing her own to the floor as well. She moves back onto the bed and plants hot kisses down across Hecate’s clavicles until Hecate is whimpering, nails digging into Pippa’s sides, making her tremble in turn.

Pippa kisses lower, down her ribs and across her stomach. Hecate arches into her as she kisses her way back, and she moves Hecate’s long hair out of the way to press their bodies together, hip to chest.

“You know,” she says breathlessly, looking down at Hecate. “It’s really rather good that I shan’t be a ‘Super Head’ after all.”

Hecate leans and and nips at her shoulder and Pippa shudders, trying to hold her train of thought. “It would be most inappropriate, really, for you to be under me in any administrative sense, you see, when I much prefer you this way.” She presses her hips down against Hecate’s and captures her mouth to absorb the wild and needy sound it elicits as Hecate shivers against her.

And Hecate kisses back, desperate and frenetic as Pippa slowly rids them both of their remaining garments, brings her to the edge with fingers and tongue until Hecate is panting and crying out and shuddering against her in a way nearly drives Pippa to the edge of her wits as well.

She hovers above her, hardly daring to move as the last tremors leave Hecate’s body. Her breath is coming in short, sharp bursts and Hecate looks a little blurry beneath her. Waves of desire spark and crackle within her and she drops her forehead to Hecate’s and tries to breath, tries to collect herself.

But Hecate seems to know, moves gentle hands to her hips and guides her down on the bed, peppers Pippa’s neck with a thousand kisses as long, cool fingers move to meet her heated flesh. Nearly blind with desire Pippa arches into her, calls out against her shoulder, winds her fingers through all that long, ebony hair and tugs as the world spins out around her.

They fall together against the bed and lay breathless, hands smoothing over sensitive skin, foreheads pressed together.

“I think you were wrong.” Hecate’s voice is rather hoarse and Pippa blushes at her role in it.

“About what?”

Hecate moves her head across the pillow until their lips are nearly touching.

“About us competing.”

And Pippa finds herself suddenly pinned beneath her, fingers pressing her arms above her head in a way that makes Pippa jerk and hiss as their eyes locked together, the heat between them palpable.

She plants a foot on the bed and presses up with her hips, twisting until Hecate overbalances, and their positions are suddenly reversed, only to be unseated as Hecate slips out from beneath her and pulls her into her lap to press hard, hot kisses along her sternum and over her chest.

Pippa slides her fingers lower to find the spot that makes Hecate down right keen, hardly able to focus, as in turn Hecate coaxes an intense, aching pleasure from within her. They gasp, and pant, and press against each other, use teeth and tongue to play our years of frustration and emotion as they push each other further and further towards release.

Pippa thinks suddenly of the day before, of Hecate slamming her broom against her own, how they’d raced through the storm and fought for dominance, thighs knocking together. And how, later, they’d stood nose to nose, anger and misunderstanding - and rather _more_ than anger and misunderstanding - hot between them. She bites at Hecate’s lower lip and twists her fingers, feels almost a ferocity in her affection, in her desire to _show Hecate_ what this is.

And Hecate’s eyes narrow in just the way Pippa remembers, back when they’d team together to best all competition in their school days. Pushing themselves, pushing each other, determined to both be best in all they did. _Always together._  And Pippa can’t help the sounds that are falling from her lips as they kneel together on the bed, overwhelmed by both sensation and emotion as Hecate trembles beneath her hands.

They fall into each other, sweaty and, Pippa thinks, as she shudders through the aftershocks, far from saited.

Hecate is looking at her rather shyly and Pippa kisses her.

“What I mean is,” Hecate whispers, cheeks blazing, “a bit of competition isn’t all bad.” She winds a hand through Pippa’s hair and leaves it there, fingers stroking gently against Pippa’s scalp. “But only when we’re competing together.”

Pippa pulls Hecate close, running her hand up and down her arm as she holds her, reveling in the feeling of her skin beneath her palm. _At long last_.

“Did you only just realize I had feelings for you?”

Hecate tilts her chin up and Pippa’s rarely seen her look so sheepish. “No, not just. I did start to wonder after breakfast though. It was your Deputy Head. She kept giving you those _looks_ when she thought I couldn’t see. It got me thinking. And then everything else throughout the day was just - “

“Confirmation?”

Hecate rolls onto her side and kisses her. “Yes. Confirmation.”

“And here I was thinking I was always far too obvious.”

Hecate blushes and they kiss again until Pippa laughs a little against her lips.

“What?”

“I’m going to hex Avery.”

“I wouldn’t.” There’s something sly in the way Hecate is looking at her and Pippa lifts an eyebrow.

“No? And why not?”

She’s met with a kiss and then another as Hecate moves above her and pins her to the bed again. “Because,” she intones, lips moving down to Pippa’s jaw and then suddenly her breath is very warm against her ear. Pippa gasps at the sensation. “You’re going to continue to need her to cover your duties for _at least_ the next 24 hours.” She takes Pippa’s earlobe between her teeth and then brushes it with her tongue before pulling back to look at her, eyes blazing.

“Oh.” It’s all she can muster, unfamiliar with this new side to Hecate but all the same quite enjoying it.

Hecate hums and brings their lips together again, sweetly and filled with a gentle tenderness. Pippa responds in kind, eyes smarting, fingers moving once again to tangle in Hecate’s hair as her knees come up to hold her in place above her.

“What about you?” She whispers, and feels a sudden prick of fear that she’ll break the spell by asking.

Hecate looks embarrassed and draws back a bit as if it’s only now crossing her mind. “I do suppose Cackle’s won’t fall apart without me?” But she looks unconvinced and Pippa tugs her closer again.

“When was the last time you took a leave of absence from school? A vacation?” When Hecate doesn’t answer Pippa cups her cheek. “Have you ever taken a vacation?”

“I’ve taken a few days to attended a few conferences, yes.”

“That’s not a vacation, Hiccup.” She strokes her hands down Hecate’s back, delighting in the way that Hecate’s eyes flutter shut and the corners of her mouth tug up as she sighs. “Stay for the weekend?” She pleads. _Stay forever_.

Hecate tugs a lip between her teeth and looks conflicted.

“I know you like your routine, Hiccup. I know how devoted you are to your work. It’s just that I want to spend more time with you. It feels like there’s awfully a lot of time to make up for.” She pulls her closer and tangles their legs together, tangles the fingers of one hand together as well as the other comes to brush across Hecate’s cheek.

“What if I want more than a weekend?” Hecate whispers, eyes unsure but very bright and Pippa smiles.

“I think we could arrange it. I’m sure Ada could find a supply witch for your classes - ” Hecate winces but grips Pippa’s fingers tighter.

“It seems indulgent to forgo our duties simply so we can -” She casts her eyes to the ceiling and color floods her cheeks. Pippa brings their joined hands up to her mouth so she can kiss the back of Hecate’s knuckles.

“It is. And I wouldn’t - I wouldn’t even suggest it it’s just that - “

“Thirty years is a very long time?” Hecate whispers.

“A lifetime.” Pippa breaths back, unable keep emotion from her voice.

Hecate looks at her very seriously and then gives a half smile. “I suppose, there could be a case made that - after the nearly disastrous start to term at Cackle’s -  I take a brief leave to confer with a fellow educator about best practices when comes to the training and discipline of wayward young witches. You did promise to teach me the principles of modern magic, after all, didn’t you you?”

“I did.” She leans and kisses the corner of her mouth. “My parents left me their cottage by the sea. We could go away for a week? No distractions. Just you, and me, and modern magic.” She punctuates each word with a kiss, but Hecate draws back in distress.

“Your parents - they passed? Pippa -” She breaks off, eyes wet and round with horror. But Pippa reaches out and cups her cheek, brushing a thumb over Hecate’s trembling lips.

“It was a good ten years ago for Dad, fifteen for Mum. ”

A tear streaks down Hecate’s cheek and pools against Pippa’s fingers. “I didn’t know. I wasn’t there for you, I -”

Pippa hushes her and kisses her gently. “It was a long time ago. You’re here now.” She pulls back and looks at Hecate, reluctant to broach the topic but unwilling to delay the conversation.

“I wrote to you when I heard about your father - twice actually. After his conviction and after his death. I never sent the letters -  I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make things harder on you.” Her heart thuds uncomfortably in her chest as Hecate sits up and pulls the sheet up tightly around her.

“Hiccup - “

“It’s alright,” she says softly, and Pippa moves up to sit beside her. Notes how Hecate’s fingers clench at the sheet and she summons her dressing gown, wrapping it gently around Hecate instead. She’s met with a small, relieved smile and Hecate relaxes slightly, leaning against the headboard as Pippa claims the sheet and pulls it around herself instead.

She takes Hecate’s hand and is relieved when she doesn’t pull away. “I wish I could have protected you.”

Hecate shakes her head. “We always knew he was dark, didn’t we?” Her eyes look haunted and Pippa aches for her, remembering how Hecate had cowered the first time Pippa had tried to give her a High Pent, sheer terror in her eyes at the raised hand and sudden movement.

“But dark magic,” Pippa breaths, holding Hecate’s hand tighter still. “You didn’t know - did you?”

“We weren’t on speaking terms by the time he was discovered. There were times I had suspected he was inclined to misuse magic. But I never considered the extent to which he had fallen into darkness. It had been at nearly a decade since I’d seen him. But still, he was -” Hecate trails off looking lost.

“But still he was your father.” Hecate ducks her head and Pippa brings their joined hands over to rest in her lap. “When it was all over the papers I so badly wanted to go to you. I knew you must feel so alone, so scared -”

Hecate shuts her eyes and breathes heavily. “No one would hire me. The Hardbroom name overnight became a symbol of depravity and disgrace.”

“And that’s why you’re so loyal to Ada. Because she brought you to Cackle’s, didn’t she?”

Hecate nods, a tear streaking down her cheek. “I owe her everything. But it’s hard - it’s hard because I do feel I owe her all that I have - and when she can’t see why I need to ensure the girls’ utter safety at all times in the way that I do - ”

“That’s why you’ve build a reputation for being an absolute stickler for The Code - you’ve made sure that your reputation supersedes your father’s.” Pippa suddenly feels a thousand pieces of the puzzle that is Hecate click into place. “That’s why you’re as by the book as anyone could be, isn’t it? When people hear the name ‘Hardbroom,’ they think of your esteem as a potions master, as a disciplinarian. They hear the name and think only of Cackle’s.”

Hecate takes a shuddering breath and sags against the headboard a little further. “It’s why I never wanted to have a life outside of the school or beyond the strict regimen that working at an academy brings.”

She squeezes Pippa’s hand and opens her eyes. “Until now.” There’s raw affection shining in her eyes and she holds Pippa’s gaze. “I’ve never been so happy.”

Her voice cracks on the last word and Pippa pulls her close, kisses her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids.

Hecate make sharp little gasping sounds as Pippa eases her back down on the bed. She unloops the sash of the rope and brushes her fingers over the soft skin within, kissing the tears from Hecate’s cheeks as she whispers _I love you_. Whispers it against her neck and her ear and her mouth. Brings their lips together again, and again, kisses down Hecate’s stomach and and lets her tongue say it for her until Hecate is writhing and sobbing above her, words tripping over themselves as she says it back, says Pippa’s name, voice thick with longing and tears.

Later, after gentle murmurs, and soft touches, and sweet kisses, Hecate holds her close and Pippa feels all the frayed edges of her heart smooth themselves and knit together at her touch.

She plays with Hecate’s hand, thrilling at the way they look together. Hecate with her long fingers and dark nails and Pippa’s, pink and sparkling, as she presses their palms together.

“If you’re worried about Cackle’s future, Hecate, I don’t think you ought to be. Cackle’s has everything it needs to be the finest academy in England. The only piece I think that’s missing is an emotional component - how does the school support the Ethel’s and the Enid’s and the Mildred’s who have more going on in their lives than simply spellwork? If a teacher had been able to help you growing up with all the things that were happening to you outside of school, what would that have looked like?”

Hecate closes her fingers over Pippa’s and kisses her wrist. “I’d scarcely know how to begin. Sometimes I forget that there could have been another way - that there _is_ any other way.”

Pippa leans in, brushes their noses together and then kisses her. “You’re the bravest person I know, Hiccup.” She breathes and Hecate’s eyes widen.

“Hardly.”

“I wish you would believe me.”

“It’s just,” Hecate pauses, eyes shining. “I’m not the one who opened an untraditional school right under The Great Wizard’s nose. Or who weathered thirty years of hurting because of someone else’s foolishness”

“I think you probably didn’t feel much better about it.”

“No.” Hecate reaches out and traces a finger down her cheek and under her chin, tilting her face up to bring their lips together. “I have missed you everyday. I regretted it everyday. I sometimes thought I’d be brave enough to tell you why I really left, to take that chance. But after my father, I knew I never could - even if I could have imagined that you could ever feel this way.”

Pippa kisses her swiftly. “I do.”

Hecate smiles and Pippa smiles back. They lay together on the same pillow, eyes bright, hearts full.


	5. Chapter 5

They make the necessary arrangements. Pippa rolls her eyes through Avery’s endless teasing and Hecate reappears after a mirror call with Ada, cheeks rather pink, but in the end, they secured one whole week together. No distractions. No interruptions.

“Magic, Pippa.” Hecate reminds her as they fly over the forests and towards the sea. “We’re going away to practice magic.” Pippa feels the need to remind her of the statement after they’ve stopped for a picnic lunch and she’s just come for the second time in a row while looking up at branches and blue sky.

Hecate moves up the picnic blanket, replacing her view to arch an eyebrow at her. “You know, Pippa. I rather thought one of the tenants of _modern magic_ is to appreciate all that surrounds you.”

“Oh. In that case - ” Pippa rolls her over and kisses her silly. When they break for air, Hecate’s hair is coming down from its bun and her long skirts are hiked up to her waist. “Let’s practice,” Pippa breathes, fingers tracing gentle circles along the inside of Hecate’s thigh. “Tell me what you feel.”

Hecate’s head falls back and her breathing increases. “I feel like there’s a rock in my back.”

Pippa nips at her bottom lip. “Well, wait you you see the bruise I have from it. But you didn’t hear me complaining.”

Hecate rolls her eyes and shifts slightly.

“What else.”

“I feel the breeze. I feel you against me. It’s - “ She flushes.

“Tell me.”

“It feels good,” Hecate sighs, blushing, and Pippa moves her fingers a little higher. “So good. It’s warm and it feels like I’m searching for something -” Pippa slips her hand beneath the fabric of Hecate’s stockings and bites her lip at the way it makes her shudder. “That. It’s that. I can’t describe it.” She breaks off again to gasp, fingers twitching on the blanket. “I feel my powers. I feel where they’re moving from me into the air to generate the protection spells - “

Pippa stills her hand. “You set up protection spells?”

Huffing Hecate tries to move against her. “Of course I did. Did you honestly think I was going to do _that_ to you with any chance that someone would stumble upon us?”

“Nevermind that we’re in the middle of a wild, overgrown forest.” She kisses Hecate and her hand moves lower, pleased when Hecate makes a small sound in the back of her throat. “But I love you for it. Even more.”

Hecate arches against her and pulls her closer. “I feel that too. I never thought I’d feel that.” And then, “Pippa. Pippa, please. Please. I need -” she clenches a hand on the blanket and the other in Pippa’s hair, her movements growing frantic.

“I feel like there’s an energy moving through me,” she gasps. “Like magic in a way. But stronger. It needs release, like magic does.” Pippa meets her desperate movements and kisses her until she’s panting. “But I’m not afraid of it the way I am magic. Pippa - Pipsqueak -”

She bows up off the blanket, a jagged cry shattering the quiet of the woods around them. Pippa holds her close, presses their foreheads together, whispers reassurances and sweet words as she comes undone against her hand.

“You’re so beautiful, Hecate.” She murmurs once their breathing has calmed. Hecate bites her lip and looks up at her, gorgeous and vulnerable and Pippa’s heart quivers.  “And look,” she whispers, pushing herself up on one hand to survey the woods around them. “Look what you made.”

Hecate sits up as well and gasps.

Around their blanket are hundred and hundreds of wild flowers, all different shapes, and sizes, and colors, fanning out as far as the eye can see in a thick carpet.

“I did that?”

Pippa nods. “I didn’t mean to I - “ Hecate looks down at her hands and then up at Pippa, eyes wide, half afraid, half in wonder. “Loss of magical control is dangerous - “

Pippa shakes her head and takes Hecate’s hand between her own. “Not always, Hecate. You made something beautiful. Who’s to say that when you’re scared your magic wouldn’t automatically protect you? Shield you? Protect others? Of course I’m not advocating for a _loss_ of magical control. Learning how to channel and direct magic is essential. But at the root of modern magic is the concept that magic is innate. That it’s a part of who we are. And there’s nothing to be feared about who you are, Hecate. There never has been.”

Hecate’s lashes are very wet and Pippa’s fingers dip under her sleeve to produce the black handkerchief she knows she will find there.

“It’s all rather overwhelming, I suppose.” Hecate daps at her eyes and then twists the black silk between her fingers.

“It’s understandable that it would be, Hiccup. And I don’t want to push you. There’s a lot you were taught about fearing yourself. It will take time.”

“Did you know this would happen?”

Pippa shrugs. “No, actually. Not at all. I wondered what would happen if you focused acutely on what you were feeling and allowed yourself to experience that kind of release. My goal was to help you embrace your emotions, but it doesn't surprise me that they’re so closely linked to your control of magic.”

Hecate turns and reaches out to pluck a cluster of Queen Anne’s Lace which she tucks into Pippa’s hair.

“I feel safe with you.”

It’s so quiet that Pippa wonders if she’s imagined it and Hecate’s looks at her with such a vulnerable expression that she leans in and pulls her into an embrace, burying her head in Hecate’s neck and holding her tight.

“Me too.”

______

By their fourth day at the cottage, Pippa finds herself locked in the upstairs bathroom splashing cool water on her on her face to calm the redness around her eyes. Blotting her face, she sits on on the lid of the toilet, holding a hand over her mouth and trying in vain to quiet her tears. The floorboards creak just outside, followed by a hesitant knock at the door, and she buries her face further in her hands. She really doesn’t know how she’s going to explain this.

There’s quiet on the other side of the door for a long moment, and Pippa struggles to keep the small sounds that keep bubbling up from within her at bay, but then the door knob turns and Hecate maneuvers into the small space, her face very pale as she come to kneel before her.

“Pippa?”

It makes her turn her head away and cry harder. She doesn’t want Hecate to see her like this. This wasn’t now things were supposed to go. She’s not supposed to lose all her emotional faculties simply because things are going too _well_.

Hecate’s hands smooth against her cheeks and she leans into the touch.

“Is it something I’ve done?” Hecate whispers and Pippa chokes on a sob, throwing her arms around her and dragging her closer. She’s forgotten in only four days how vulnerable Hecate can be.

Because it’s all been so easy, so beautiful, to watch Hecate unfurled herself little by little, settling into a comfort easiness in a way Pippa’s never seen her. She’s so much less rigid, less jumpy. She smiles more - never quite full, open smiles - but bright-eyed, and rosy cheeked, and pleased more often than Pippa could imagine from her.

They wake together in the mornings, langid, tangled, sore. It takes them a quite a while to get out of bed, though, really, Pippa thinks, they’re both to blame for that. They make a light breakfast and read the paper Pippa’s arranged to have delivered for the duration of their visit, passing back and forth favorite sections and reading snippets here and there to one another.

Then it’s lessons. She guides Hecate through breathing exercises, teaches her to reach out and feel the threads of magic that run through the world, talks her through how to gather them and tame them, direct them and coax them. How to make it up as she goes along, work with magic in a free fall.

She hovers close beside her and stops her whenever she’s expended too much energy. Hecate insists she’s fine, _really_ , despite the uncharacteristically way she stumbles about afterwards with loose, shaky limbs and bumps into things at an alarming rate, protesting until Pippa sits her down and insists she have some lunch.

In the afternoons they walk along the beach, discussing magical theory and how best to manage young witches. They talk about Ethel, and Enid, and where magic comes from. They debate traditions and magical fail-safes against power bursts, and Pippa even gets Hecate to admit that Mildred really is quite a powerful young witch who could benefit from some personal guidance.

Their days so far have been foggy, the wind coming off the sea with a biting dampness, and when they return to the cottage Hecate lights a fire and they undress each other slowly. Or not so slowly. Or make use of the large copper bathtub or - one memorable time - the kitchen table.

And Pippa loves all of it. It’s why she’s in the upstairs bathroom sobbing into Hecate’s neck. It’s all just so much after nearly a lifetime of wanting. To suddenly get to spend an evening watching Hecate fuss over making their dinner as Pippa teaches her how to cook. How she promises her it’s like a potion, that there’s an order and a science to it, a _magic_ to it. Though that only makes Hecate roll her eyes.

She’s crying because it’s all so domestic. Because she can imagine another life where they lived for years together in a cottage by the sea. One where Hecate stands in the kitchen each night making dinner in those high waisted slacks and a turtleneck she’s taken to wearing this week - the ensemble driving Pippa absolutely wild - and she smiles at her as she asks for Pippa’s opinion on the tomato sauce, only to  kiss the taste from her tongue moments later. And, yes, Pippa huffs against Hecate’s shoulder, that _was_ how the kitchen table incident occurred, but, _honestly_ , who could blame her.

Because she wants this. Wants all of this. Wants thirty years past of this and thirty years more, and no aching, lonely, heartbroken years in between.

“Pippa.” Hecate whispers, and Pippa realizes she hasn’t answered her question. She draws back and reaches over the the counter for a tissue and blows her nose, free hand squeezing Hecate’s to anchor her in place. “It’s just that,” her voice cracks a little and she shakes her head, “I’ve _missed you_.”

Hecate’s eyebrows climb up her forehead and she gently reaches out to collect Pippa’s tears on her fingertips.

“I’m right here, Pipsqueak.”

“I know. I know you are. But this isn’t forever -” Hecate looks startled. “No, I mean that we’ll have to go back to our respective schools soon. I know we both love what we do, that neither of us would want to be doing anything else.” She drops her head down so it rests back against Hecate’s shoulder. “But I can’t stop imaging what it would be like to have this. Always.”

Hecate shifts and stands, pulling Pippa up with her, letting Pippa cling.

“It all seems like a dream,” she breathes. “To be here with you. I confess I don’t want to wake up. I’d forgotten what it was like,” her hands come up to cradle Pippa’s face, “to have you always around. What that feels like. I’ve told myself for years and years that Cackle’s was my home. Convinced myself of it so thoroughly because I had nowhere else to go. When, really, I always knew it was with you.”

Pippa’s crying again, arms wrapping around her neck, heart expanding to much it hurts. “But Cackle’s _is_ your home too, Hecate. It can be both - it _is_ both.” Hecate brings their mouths together despite the wet messiness of Pippa’s tears. “We’ll visit. I’ll take weekends. I _promise_ I’ll take weekends. We can come here, or I can come to you. Or you can come to Cackle’s.”

“And you’ll return my mirror calls?” Pippa steps back and wipes her nose, but Hecate tugs her back in, eyes intense and breath coming fast as she pulls Pippa flush against her. “Yes. I will return your calls. I promise.”

“Unless there is a school emergency. Then maybe dash off a maglet note - if there’s time.” Pippa smiles and Hecate lips turn up.

“I know I’ve shut you out in the past - even when you’ve made every overture and effort to stand by my side - I’ve run from you.” Hecate’s eyes are dark with worry and she kisses Pippa’s forehead, then her cheek, before finally kissing her very gently until Pippa sighs into her mouth. “I can’t go back to that now. Not after this. You said you wanted me to always see you for who you are,” she pauses, fingers twitching against Pippa’s sides, “but I want you to see me too.”

Pippa leans up and kisses her again, tears leaking down her cheeks once more. “Yes, please,” she breathes. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, I really do rather like you.”

Hecate gives a strangled little laugh, fingers brushing at Pippa’s tears.  

Pippa sniffs a bit. “It’s silly to cry when I’m so happy.”

“You always think you’re silly when you’re doing your best to make sure things work out properly. I know I’ve have a role in that. I wish you knew how un-silly you really are.” Hecate’s eyes are dark and serious and Pippa flushes at how low her voice is. “You’re beautiful, brilliant, and complex, and you have the bravest heart of any witch I know,” she whispers into her hair.

They stand comfortably together for a few moments before Hecate takes her hand and leads her from the bathroom, wrapping her arm around her shoulders as they descend the stairs. “I’m happy too. Happier than I’ve ever been.”

And she looks it, Pippa thinks, once again drinking in the relaxed set of Hecate’s shoulders, the way her hair falls down her back in a loose braid. And those pants. _My god_ , she thinks _, those pants._

“And we’ll have summers,” Pippa summarizes, feeling less overwhelmed and more optimistic by the minute, spinning Hecate so that she’s trapped against the front door, fingers running along her waistband. “Think of all we can do over summers.”

Hecate snorts, but doesn’t disagree.

______

It’s strange to discover and rediscover each other in such an open manner and Pippa sorts through all of Hecate’s little habits, both new and old, as the days go by. Like the way Hecate still takes her tea with milk but no sugar, how she spins her teaspoon precisely three times around before placing it at an angle across her saucers, the same as she has always done.

She is surprised to learn that Hecate hates porridge.

“But you ate it _every morning_ at Spugworth’s - every bite. Why do it if you hated it so?”

Hecate looks at her with a stoney face and Pippa slides into the chair beside her, taking her hand until she’s ready to talk.

“Remember Phyllis Dilworth?”

“Yes,” She says, flummoxed.

“Remember how she was never a morning person - always missed breakfast?”

“What’s that got to do with porridge?”

“It kept me full longer. Phyllis was always stealing my food while your back was turned. I hardly ever got to eat again until dinner most days, and sometimes not even then.”

Pippa gapes at her. “Why didn’t you say - _Hecate_ \- why didn’t you say?”

Hecate’s mouth goes thin. “She was your friend.”

“ _Hardly._ That _toad._ She was always trying to cheat off of me in spell science. I told Miss Mugweed over and over but Phyllis’s parents were apparently big donors to the school. Miss Mugweed said if I wasn’t nice to Phyllis, or tried to stop her from looking at my exams, I’d get detention. Or worse.”

They stare at each other.  “If I’d have known I would have hexed her.” Pippa says in a low voice at the same time Hecate says, “I love you.”

Again they look at each other. Blink. Laugh.

“I love you too. I’ll make toast.”

*

She’s also surprised to learn that Hecate loves the large copper bathtub upstairs. She sits in nearly every evening before dinner, knees up to her chest and her eyes shut as the water moves around her shoulders, her hair floating out like a mermaid.

“I never thought you’d like baths, Hiccup. You always used the Shower Spell after display practice. In fact, I remember you always teasing me because I’d take long showers just to relax.”

She eases Hecate back against her and kisses just below her ear, smiling at the way Hecate doesn’t resist. Though when she tips her head back to look at Pippa she looks sheepish.

“I was avoiding you.”

“What?”

“In the locker rooms. I was afraid that - well - you’re a very _open person,_ aren’t you?” Hecate’s blushing and Pippa squints at her. “I don’t know how I would have survived if you’d suddenly decided that it was perfectly normal for friends to share a shower stall or if you’d been anything less than, well, _private_ with your bathing.”

Pippa pushes her forward and spin her around to stare at her.

“Oh, I _absolutely_ should have suggested we share a shower stall.” She backs Hecate up until she’s cornered at the other end of the tub and balances her hands on the copper sides so that she can lean forward, their lips millimeters apart. “But not because I wanted us to be _friends._ ” 

Hecate half laughs as Pippa closes the distance -

And then makes a lot of other welcome noises instead.

*

Hecate still likes to read before bed. And Pippa’s still familiar with Hecate’s restless nights where dreams drag her down and she twitches and kicks. It’s that Hecate now mutters snatches of The Code in her sleep, as if it’s a ward that can banish the darkness of her father, and Broomhead, and dozens of injustices that have been played against her all her life.

Only now Pippa can wake her with gentle kisses along with soothing words and careful hands, holding her close and whispering to her until she comes back to consciousness. They practice modern magic together in the dark. Hecate relaxes against her, breathes in and out and makes iridescent butterflies flutter around the room like strange night lights until they both fall back asleep, or fall into each other, moving together in the phosphorescent glow.

*

The most unexpected discovery, Pippa muses, is Hecate’s intensity in their love making. Whether soft, and slow, and achingly sweet, or the times where they come together like a hurricane, all nails and teeth and frantic desperation -  as if the every act alone can grant a reprieve for the years they’ve lost - Hecate bares herself to Pippa with an unexpected boldness.

One evening, Pippa’s fraying at the very edges of her sanity after Hecate very suddenly presses her down on the bed from behind and snakes a hand between her body and the mattress. With Hecate’s weight against her and so thoroughly at her mercy, she finds stuttering out filthy words and desperate pleas, the magnitude of the sensation nearly too much to handle. She thrusts back against her hand, Hecate breathing hard against her ear, until she’s tumbling to bits and pieces, muscles twitching, hot pleasure overriding every nerve in her system as her vision goes dark.

The better part of an hour passes before she can move again, and when she does, she finds Hecate so beside herself with wanting that she can scarcely believe she’s had the selfcontrol to wait for relief. It doesn’t take long and she comes with a raw sob, teeth digging into Pippa’s shoulder. They look at each other for a long time after, breath still coming unevenly, eyes glinting.

“You don’t have to wait, next time, you know.” She pulls on Hecate’s hip and shifts her closer. “I rather like the idea of you touching yourself in front of me.”

Hecate’s eyebrow jump up her forehead and she inhales sharply through her nose.

“What?” Pippa kisses her chin and then her lips. “Just thinking about it makes me -” She angles their bodies together and her breath hitches. “Hiccup?”

Hecate rolls onto her back and pulls Pippa with her, hand stroking down her back.

“That feels rather,” she pauses, blushing, “private.”

Pippa hums and slips a hand back between Hecate’s legs. “Do you like touching yourself? When you’re alone?”

She watches as Hecate bites a lip and arches into her. “Yes - I - yes.” She moves against Pippa and gasps before reaching down to still her wrist. “But not often. Afterwards I just feel so - alone. So ashamed.”

Pippa moves her hand to Hecate’s hip again and strokes softly. “You’re not alone now. And there’s nothing to be ashamed about, even if you were.”

Hecate gives her a half smile and reaches up to brush Pippa’s hair from her eyes, cupping her cheek. “I suppose.”

“Can I tell you my biggest secret?”

Hecate does smile then, thumb stroking Pippa’s cheek as she nods.

Pippa takes a breath and moves to lay on her back, studying the ceiling.

“The first time I touched myself I thought of you.” Her hand comes to rest against her stomach and she turns to anxiously watch Hecate as she props herself on a hand to look down at her.

“You did?”

Pippa nods, growing warm at the naked want in Hecate’s eyes.

“How - how old were -?”

“Fifteen I think? I was so ashamed after but I couldn’t stop thinking about you - about us -”

Hecate breathes out in a rush and she stares down at her.

“Pippa.”

“I’m sorry.”

But Hecate is shaking her head, cheeks very pink. She takes Pippa’s hand and slides it lower, guiding it between her legs, watching closely as she gasps.

“I didn’t discover that sort of thing until I was much older. I knew I wanted to kiss you - I knew there was a feeling I’d get when I thought of you -” Pippa whimpers as Hecate directs her own fingers against her skin, boldly holding her gaze. The air sparks between them.

“Hecate.”

“Did you think of me? In the years between?” There’s a note in her voice, guilt and arousal, and Pippa presses up to kiss her, letting their tongues brush until Hecate’s hips are moving helplessly.

“I did.” Pippa whispers. “Every time I was alone.” She studies Hecate and feels her cheeks warm. “Often even when I wasn’t.”

Hecate makes a sharp noise and moves their joined hands with more urgency. “I don’t like thinking about you with anyone else,” she breathes. “I know I have no right. I know I gave up that right when I left.”

“Stop talking,” Pippa pants, hips straining upwards in search of more pressure. “I only want to think about you. I only want to be with you.”

Hecate shifts and removes her hand from Pippa’s to press it between her own legs as she balances above her.

“Pippa,” she breathes, balancing on one arm and moving above. “I want you.”

She strokes herself more firmly, eyes never leaving Hecate’s. “I’m here. I’m right here.” Hecate lets out a choked noise and the both move more quickly, gasping as their lips barely touch, arching and trembling at this new intimacy. “I want you, too,” Pippa gasps, sliding her free hand up Hecate’s chest, pleasure shooting through her at the sound Hecate makes in response.

“I love you,” she whispers, when they’ve collapsed together, Hecate a welcome weight atop her once more. And Hecate whispers it back and they curl together smiling up at the ceiling of the room which has transformed into a scintillating miniature of the cosmos.  

“Did you do that?” Pippa asks. Hecate’s cheeks are very pink and her eyes glitter in the starlight. “I think _we_ did that,” she murmurs and Pippa sighs in contentment and settles against her.

“You know,” Hecate picks up her hand and weaves their fingers together. “I think when I return I’ll speak to Ada about a Wellness Center. Possibly one of those rooms that you had - the Contemplation Room? It’s occurred to me that girls like Mildred Hubble could benefit from a space to calm one’s mind - to find focus and perhaps then a little more control.”

She looks bashful and Pippa kisses her cheek. “I think that’s a lovely idea.”

“I do hope Ada will agree to it. She means well, but there are times I fear she can be a little short sighted when it comes to solving a problem with more than just a lemon drop.”

“Lemon drops can be nice, too.” Pippa smiles up at her. “As long as there’s also action to improve the situation if it’s called for. And not everyone is perfect at everything -  that’s why it’s important to have someone beside us, someone who helps us see.”

“Yes,” Hecate agrees, she kisses her on the forehead and cups her face so that they’re nose to nose. “Will you help me plan it?”

“I will.”

“And will you come back and do modern magic workshops? Without me breathing down your neck.”

Pippa shivers, moving marginally closer. “I rather like it when you breath down my neck.” Hecate narrows an eye and Pippa grins. “But yes. If Ada agrees, I will.”

“Thank you.” Hecate nudges their noses together, eyes bright. “I should tell you something.”

“What?” Pippa sighs against her mouth.

“We make a great team, too.” 

Hecate brings their lips together and they both smile as they kiss.


End file.
